Little Kids and their concept of age

I love kids. If you ever want to feel younger without going through botox or some other ungodly treatment that requires pokes, screws, stretches, and who knows what else, teach swim lessons.

The younger ones are best (under 5) because they have little or no concept of age. Now I'm not on my way to botox injections or any nonsense like that because I'm still young (22). However, when realizing that going from 18 to 21 took ten zillion years and 21 to 22 took 3 seconds, you start to realize that life after 21 goes way too fast.

I happen to teach swim lessons because it's enjoyable and relatively easy. During one of the lessons, I had an experience with little kids and age misconception that made my day:

A little girl (around 4) in my class asked if I was 14. I was flattered that I looked younger but 14? Not so much. I told her I was much older (ooo a whole 8 years!). So she guessed 16. She's like "you couldn't be older than that!". I told her I was, so she reached for the moon and guessed--wait for it--17. After I reminded her that I was much older still she guessed 63.

So we jumped a few decades. Eh whatever!

When Life Sucks

Have you ever had one of those times in your life when you are too stressed to function? Well I'm having one of those now. Writing papers isn't tough, but when you have 20 thousand items on the agenda for the next couple weeks, life really seems to kick you in the ass. So instead of sleeping, finishing the paper, or closing out any of my twenty tabs in facebook open to random sites about Boston, I am blogging. Yep. Writing to you about what to in times of stress and ultimate life hell. So enjoy!

Introducing: The Life and Times of Being Stressed Out

There are several steps you must go through to reach these special points.

1) Facebook should be open so you can chat with everyone and complain about life and say random blips of whatever.

2) Listen to the same music on repeat for roughly 3 hours. I'll probably have Spring Awakening completely memorized by the time I actually go to bed.

3) Let the vision get foggy. This means you are tired. And stressed. You totally wish you had the foggy eyes--it feels like you should be on drugs and enjoying life, but instead you are reminded of the fact that you are so stressed and tired that your eyes hate you.

4) Come with caffeine. Now I drink some soda, but when I have multiple doses, then this is crunch time.

In general, if you "feel like your brain took a $&*!", then you are probably stressed. I recommend some therapy for this. You can do the following:

1) Work out
2) Swear a lot (repetition works well)
3) Break down
4) Have some "healthy" beverages --but wait until after the big test!
5) Blog
6) Kill an ant or some other minor insect
7) Run around a lot

I know this made no sense, but that's what this blog is for! :) Happy Stress!

Warning: Don't get ulcers. They are bad. Thanks for reading!

Soulja boy meets the UP

Okay...so I've been having a ton of fun dancing to this song (which by the way is really inappropriate and disgusting...but what do we care? it's fun to dance to and sing to so yeah!.....well I decided to find the lyrics to this famous song. I believe it was not too long ago in which my friends were singing the UP version..so I'd thought I'd take a stab at writing it so we all remember them 100 years from now when we're gone! Enjoy:

Real Lyrics: (chorus only)

[Chorus: x2]
Soulja Boy Off In This Hoe
Watch Me Crank It
Watch Me Roll
Watch Me Crank Dat Soulja Boy
Then Super Man Dat Hoe
Now Watch Me Do
(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)
Now Watch Me yua!
(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)
Now Watch Me yua!
(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)
Now Watch Me yua!
(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)




Soulja Boy Meets the UP: (chorus only)

[Chorus: x2]
Soulja boy off in dat o
Watch me crank dat der
Watch me roll der
Watch me crank dat soulja boy
Den superman dat ho
Youuu crank dat soulja boy der

Na Yuuuuuu
crank dat soulja boy der (x3)


Yeah so hope ya liked dat der impression. By da way...I like the UPers..der great. No insults or nothin'. I just love this song cuz it's crazy! :)

a timeline of my brain

hmm. yes my brain does some pretty cooky things I discovered (at least during the summer) well let's see. You may wonder how I analyzed my brain? No tests, no nothing...actually it's simply me acting wierd (by the way that is my "normal" state)...continuing on:

During the day: Lovely lovely I'm on my toes! Thinking and processing correctly most of the time and just dandy! This is the time where I'm convincingly intelligent (no, really I am but sometimes it's hard to tell)

Between 10 pm and midnight: Kind of a vegetable at this time. Too tired to care and not on my natural high. I've usually had a diet soda by this time (see way awesome blog). My mood's pretty much of a hippie w/o the drugs. Always am determined to never go to sleep this early...

MIDNIGHT: Brain is a giant sausage. I speak things (similar to this but not quite) that people never knew could be spoken. I reveal the true me For most this comes as a shock the first time, especially on AIM. However, the situation isn't hurting anyone. Believe me, the emotions are zippy-gone-bye-bye! It's the natural high for the evening (morning, excuse me).

What else? That's it!

Pretzel Drugs (a satire if you couldn't already guess!)

did I spell preztel right? oh well.

SO anyway. I was at a cast party for the musical tonight. It was fun. Yeah so I decided to act wired---wait not wired, well okay maybe that too. I was wierd. and definately more than usual. In my hours of genius I thought of the safe drug.

For those of you who desire drugs but not the effects, I recommend Pretzel Drugs--nothing but salt and carbs! Below I have listed the following recipes that I thought of in my highest hour of stonality:

Preztel Smoking: Oh believe me this is so fun. For this you must use the sticks or its stupid. I mean how would that look smoking a pretzel pretzel? Dumb? Yeah I thought so too. So anyway, you don't light the pretzel. Nope. Just go through the motions of a good smoke. (Believe me you can still get high from the mental exhilaration!---------well I did anyway)

Preztel Dope: Dope is similar in the motions to smoking, except for the fact that you must suck harder and pucker your lips while sucking. Yep that's right. More sucking. And then you release. It feels so good to go through the motions w/o the consequences

Pretzel Crack/Cocaine: Now I must make clear that crack is not the same as cocaine. Nope. Cocaine is the powder version of crack. Pretzel cocaine is much easier than crack....Well I haven't exactly mastered out crack but since you shouldn't do drugs anyway don't worry about it! Cocaine is simply made in this case by mushing (using a blender for a party occasion) pretzels into a fine powder. If you're lazy and you don't mind the huge amount of salt, just go to the bottom of your pretzel bag and pour it out! yum. Again..drugs are bad!

Pretzel Heroine: okay now this is bad. if you are desperate for the sensation of heroine I guess you could make a solution of the pretzel powder...but seriously...if you need that sensation GET HELP! you have problems! Don't do drugs they're bad!

FOR BETTER SENSATION:

• Drink water w/ pretzels. It imitates the beer idea w/o of course---the alcohol!
• Act serious w/ a sophisticated "I think I'm cool 'cause I do drugs, but really I'm dumb! Not gonna hide it!"

WARNINGS!

• Readers should be AT LEAST high school and cannot be drug users already!
• DON'T DO DRUGS! THEY ARE BAD FOR YOU!
• Preztels may cause high salt. Drink water to help. Do not o.d.

That's all I have to say about that!

who needs sleep?

Tonight I can say I'm tired but happy. Officially this is my 14th night and I'd say that I haven't seen my bed before midnight in the last oh two weeks.

here is some spanish (maybe for my diario?): Yo estoy muy cansada porque no he dormido para dos semanas. Ay!

Wow. that's amazing. spanish is amazing. Whatever this is my "I feel like writing any old thingy I want to so yay! My good mood site!" Joy o joy.

This my new belief on sleep: Who needs it? It just gets in the way of your homework? And besides, you might make it up later (even if it is in class---oops!)

Dat's all I haz to zay aboutz zat!